“I swear your honor, I had my blinker on…”

So a couple of weeks ago, after fleeing Mark’s place after his meltdown, we moved to a nearby hotel in Panama City. Karen and I thought it would be better to stay there and clear our heads for a day or two before figuring what our next move would be while in the city. David, a Canadian trip alumni and PC resident who has since become a good friend of ours, said we could stay with him. But we didn’t want to be any trouble. We did, however want to go get some stuff from his place that Karen left with him before a previous trip, and to bring back some stuff he had let us borrow recently.

I took a taxi to his place, and he was rather busy in his home office. When I told him I was going to run the stuff back to the hotel and come back, he offered to let me borrow his car. Cool, I thought.

It’s been about two years since I last drove in Panama City, but since then, I’ve come to know the streets pretty well. I gratefully accepted the keys from David, and went on my way. I told him I’d be back in an hour or so.

While at the hotel, I get a call from David telling me that he needs something out of the back of his trunk for a business meeting he’s having. He asks me if I can get the car over to Multiplaza pronto. I tell him I’m on my way, and off I go.

Ten minutes later, I’m at the Multiplaza (Panama City’s hoity-toitier shopping mall), where I meet up with David and his group at a cafe. After giving him what he needs, I tell him I’m going to shoot back to the hotel and get Karen, and we’ll come back to meet him for lunch. I told him I’ll leave the car there for him (since I was already done with it), and head out with a taxi and back. David tells me I can take the car again to go get her. So off I go.

Back in David’s car, heading out of the mall parking lot, I find myself trapped on Via Brasil going in the wrong direction. I need to head back the other direction toward Avenida Israel, so I can get to Balboa which will take me to the hotel. Traffic is light, which is a rarity, since it is Sunday. Making a U-turn on this street is out of the question, traffic was just too erratic, and it was probably against the law anyway. I kept heading down the street looking for a place I can turn into so I can get back on Via Brasil heading in the other direction. Finally, I see an entrance for a parking lot on my left that will easily allow me to drive in, bring the car back around after I’m in the lot, and then head back out the other way.

I slowed the car down and put on my turning signal showing that I was about to turn left into this parking lot. There was a red light going at the intersection up ahead, so there was no oncoming traffic. All was clear, so I started heading across the oncoming lanes of Via Brasil.

*THUD*GRIND*****

Within seconds of starting to turn left into the parking lot, I feel and hear the car get hit square on the driver’s side passenger door from behind by a Toyota SUV who’s screeching his brakes. “WTF???” is all that’s going through my head.

Seems that the guy who smacked me was trying to pass a slower car that was behind me via the ONCOMING TRAFFIC LANE. He didn’t see me turning left until after he had passed the car in front of him. It was too late… bam.

So it was a pretty clear case of who was at fault. A. I was just turning into this parking lot. B. The car who hit me was passing on the oncoming traffic lane than rather on the other lane going his direction on the right. and C. He was behind me.

I had to call David and give him the bad news, and then I had to call Karen and tell her to bring me my passport, as I knew I was going to need it. The police come, the insurance representatives show up, and the report-making begins.

After what seemed like a good hour and a half, the police said we were ok to go. The traffic officer gave me what looked like a small prescription-sized note. He said I had to be at the courthouse on June 4th. Which, happened to coincide with a trip I had booked to head back to Cartagena. “Not to worry” David says, I’ll have my buddy work on a response for you to submit, and a lawyer will represent us.

Fast forward about a week and a half, I’m in Cartagena after a lovely, trouble-free sail. I’m in a good mood, glad to be back in Cartagena. Getting caught up on Facebook, I get a chat from David. “I got some news…” “we lost.” I’m so disconnected from the subject, I say “lost what?”. That’s when he tells me, we lost at the traffic court hearing.

Ok, so how in the hell could that have happened? This guy passes another car on the oncoming traffic lane, while I’m turning into a parking lot, nails me, and he gets off???? David says that the judge says that I was the first to commit an offense because I crossed a double yellow line. What? Pardon me, but I always thought a double yellow line meant you couldn’t get on that side of the road to pass, like this guy just did. According to them, you can’t drive over the yellow line even to turn into an entrance or a business from the other side of the street! You’re supposed to go somewhere you can make a U-turn or come around the block and then turn in. Even when the light at the corner is red and there is no oncoming traffic? No. Not even then. If this is what Panamanians did, then the traffic situation would be even WORSE than it already is. And trust me, it’s BAD.

I was completely freaked out and outraged. I get hit from behind by a car trying to pass in oncoming traffic, and it’s my fault? Only in Panama could something like this happen. Then David, chats what I’m already thinking… “I think the other guy paid”, as in paid off the judge to nail him/me with the fault so he can keep his insurance rates down. It’s a common practice here in Panama, apparently, and something judges are perfectly willing to do to augment their meager civil servant incomes.

So now somehow David is left holding the bag on his damage by his insurance company, meaning I have to fork over money to cover it. Luckily collision damage repairs are much cheaper here than our home countries. I’ll tell ya, if it wasn’t so obscenely insulting, it would be damn funny.