When we left off in Part I, I was just getting back to Carti after finishing a 2-night trip. The weather was just ok, and the guests were in a bit of a hurry to catch their ride back to Panama City. I taxied Andiamo to its anchoring spot, and dropped the hook (yes, this time VERY far away from the waterpipe’s location, geez, always a smart-ass in every crowd…) 😛 .
The guests’ lancha had been waiting, and came alongside Andiamo to take them and their bags aboard. Strangely, another lancha showed up on the opposite side of Andiamo, and came alongside. There was a kuna guy standing on the bow. He was very animated and anxious. He yelled at me in unintelligible spanish as the lancha drew just a little too close to Andiamo’s unfendered topsides for my comfort. I asked them to stay a bit more away from the boat so as not to hit and mark up the hull paint. I just had it touched up in Cartagena last month! I have enough trouble keeping marks off the hull paint as it is. I asked them to wait a minute.
I was still helping the guests off the boat, and we were saying our goodbyes, while this guy was yelling at me like a banshee. I asked him to pipe down, and wait for me to disembark the guests, and then we can talk. I also told him that if he kept yelling at me, I wouldn’t be talking to him at all, so he better cool down. I figured this had something to do with the ongoing water pipe saga. I had talked to Dino the night before and asked him if they had gotten the pipe back together like he said was going to be done the day before. He said they were going to finish up that morning. I was rather surprised that it hadn’t been fixed by then.
After I bid the guests farewell and saw them off, I came back around and started talking Mr. Anxious Kuna guy on the other lancha again. I told him he needed to calm down and tell me what was up. He didn’t calm down very much, but at least this time his spanish was a little more intelligible. He said that they STILL didn’t get the pipe working again (big surprise), it was a big problem, and that everyone was upset and that it was my fault. Turns out that the chief decided that Andiamo had caused way more problems than they figured, and as a result, I needed to pay an additional $150 fine.
I failed to mention in my previous installment that the chief told Dino that I needed to pay a $50 fine for the pipe damage. I figured this was fair considering they had to buy some kind of materials and expend labor to do the repair. I was also not happy with the fact that the whole village of Carti’ Yantupu was without running water for a day or two on my account. So I paid it, no questions asked. Now it was being demanded of me that I pay another $150 on top of the $50. I told the guy that I paid the fine that the chief assessed, and I thought an additional fine was excessive. I also went on to point the now obvious fact that had they listened to me when we were all out there fixing the pipe, the issue would have been resolved that same day. A mere day and a half after the pipe was broken by Andiamo’s anchor during a storm.
The guy didn’t appear to hear or acknowledge my response and just kept saying “debes pagar! debes pagar!”, waving a little “bill” in his hand that bore the chief’s official stamp (which has what looks like a drawing of a wild pig on it. Seriously.), effectively charging me for the extra $150 “multa”. I told him I wanted to talk to the chief, and that I wanted to find out WHY they still had not gotten the waterpipe repaired after what was now THREE DAYS after I left. I had seen the problem and it seemed pretty straightforward to me how it can be fixed. I told him that I would be on the island within the hour to discuss this matter with the chief. The guy huffed, and asked me if I was going to pay the $150, to which I answered, I’m not paying anything until I speak with the chief or at least his “secretario”.
They left, and I called Dino, who had not showed up yet. He said that that the whole island was in a frenzy about the water issue. Things had reached a fever pitch. Of course, they bitched to the chief, who responded to the angry hordes by declaring… NOT that he would see to it that the waterpipe would be fixed pronto, even if it required getting some more parts and materials to complete the repair… NOT that he would see about getting perhaps a plumber or someone qualified to complete the repair in short order… NOT that he would… oh, you get the idea. But instead of all that, he would see to it that the captain of the evil Andiamo would pay a bigger “multa”! Not just $50, but another $150! Yes, that must have definitely pleased the masses, no doubt.
I’m a bit dumbfounded by all this, as Dino is. I asked him what was the big holdup with fixing the damn pipe. He went on to say that all the pieces that they have don’t mate up, and that’s causing problems. I then asked if anybody had thought about maybe calling my driver, Ricardo, or just any of the other drivers that did the trip back and forth to San Blas from Panama City, oh just every day, or even twice a day, and ask them to get the right parts they needed to complete the repair. Or better yet, just SEND someone to get the parts and come back on the same day. I was a bit perplexed and dumbfounded at this point, it seemed like a pretty common sense thing to me. Dino said that they insisted they had all the pipe they needed to fix the problem. They hadn’t.
I ask him to come and get me so we can go see the chief together. We get the outboard on the dinghy and head to the village. Instead of the usual passing smiles and greetings, I got nothing but glum stares and even mean, hissy looks, particularly from the older Kuna ladies, and geez they usually LOVE me. I saw that I’d quickly become persona-non-grata on the island, and immediately pictured that somewhere on this island there was probably some little curse doll being made for me. I gulped at that thought. Things have been a bit rough on me lately, I didn’t need anymore bad vibes to mess up my already struggling mojo.
We get to the village meeting hut, which looks a lot bigger inside than it does on the outside. Inside, it’s a veritable Kuna “stadium”. There are rows of benches all surrounding a center stage if you will, where there are three hammocks hanging. The chiefs sit in the hammocks, and discuss things. The Kunas meanwhile all sit around and watch, and chime in whenever they think they can. Supposedly it’s a hoot to watch.
So Dino asks me to wait in the middle area, and no, I didn’t ask if I can get in a hammock. I was to wait there for the secretario to show up. The chief was on another island that day, so the secretario would speak for him. He said another older guy who speaks good spanish would translate to the secretario in Kuna. So here I was thinking, damn, my marginal spanish is getting seriously frickin tested here. Karen always took care of this stuff. But this time, I was left to fend for myself. Bad enough that the Kuna’s spanish was barely intelligible half the time. I gulped again.
The secretario made his entrance about ten minutes later, and sat on a bench. I guess only the actual chiefs get to sit in the hammocks. The “translator” shows up, who’s Frederico, a guy I actually know, and the meeting begins.
I start by asking him if I should speak directly to the secretario or to him. He says to just talk to him and don’t really look at the secretario unless he asks me to. So I start the discussion by mentioning the situation as I saw it and I wanted to know why the island was allowed to go without water for so long. They claimed to have the materials and the wherewithal to finish the repair. The translator chatted to the secretario in Kuna, and the secretario answered back.
The real matter to them was the fine. I had to pay it, or they were going to make life very difficult for me in San Blas. I politely told them that there was no need for any threats, and that I was going to do everything I had to do, including paying whatever fine I had to pay. But to me, the priority was getting the water working again in the village, and that should be theirs as well. The secretario then said that I had to pay the $100 right away, or else they would have to consult with the tribe Congreso to figure out what to do with me. I again politely stated that they really don’t need to keep throwing threats at me. I was beginning to wonder if they even understood me at all.
By this time, I noticed that quite a few people had congregated around us to hear the ensuing proceedings. The benches were filling up. I even noticed some people shouting stuff at me, while I was talking. It was presumably unpleasant stuff in Kuna. Dino later confirmed my suspicions. Great, I never thought I’d see the day where Kunas were actually heckling me. Yet, here I was, and I didn’t even have a defense attorney. The banter seemed to increase over the course of the discussion, which really wasn’t a discussion at all. It was just them telling me over and over again, in different ways, that I had to pay the fine… or else…
I did notice that the fine went down from $150 to $100, but I didn’t say anything about the reduction. I didn’t remember a haggling session starting, but I was determined to let it run its course, to my advantage. After a few more minutes of banter, I finally told them in simple terms, the fine was not the issue. Yes, $100 is a lot of money to me, but I’ll pay it, whatever. I would need seven days to pay it, because I’ll have to get it via ATM next time I go to the city. I hoped that would get the matter out of the way, and it did, surprisingly. So now I was able to move on to the real matter, trying to figure out how to get the waterpipe fixed. Now.
The secretary was very happy with my offer to pay the fine within 7 days, and he shook my hand. Then he LEFT. That was really all he needed to hear, that I would pay the fine. The petty details of actually fixing the pipe didn’t seem to matter to him. I found that very strange. The translator left shortly after as well. I was now left to deal with the remaining guys, and the hecklers. I remembered many of the guys being out in the water four days ago, when I was there to try help with the repair. I asked one guy who seemed to be some kind of foreman, for no apparent reason other than that he was taller than the other Kuna guys, to show me what the pipe/material situation was. I wanted to see the parts they were trying to use myself.
They walked me out of the meeting hut, and to an area behind it, where several pipe sections lay. The first thing I thought when I saw this pathetic pile of 3-inch pvc pipes of different lengths, with some sections that were arbitrarily cut in places I couldn’t for the life of me understand, was no wonder. No wonder they couldn’t fix the pipe. All the usable sections were male ended. There were no usable female mating ends to speak of. I also noticed one section where two male ends were met up and attempted to be glued together rather sloppily using pvc cement, which of course didn’t hold. When I saw that, I had this strange desire to laugh but resisted. I did say, that I understood why they couldn’t get it fixed with a feigned seriousness that hopefully clouded my disbelief.
They needed some connector pieces that would allow them to connect the good sections of pipe that they still had left together. That would be all they needed, and they would be in business. I’d asked them if they knew what I was talking about. One kuna guy nodded, but I didn’t really believe him. I told them that I would get the pieces for them. I was planning on going to the city in a couple of days to see a doctor about an ear problem I’d been having. So I’d get it on the way, and make sure it got sent back to them the same day so they can finish the repair. But instead of leaving in a couple of days, I would go the next morning.
I then explained to them what would need to be done, and how to prepare the ends so they connectors hold the pipe sections in place. I made sure Dino was in on the conversation so he can remember as much of what I said as possible, so he can remind them.
The next day, I was off to the city. My usual driver, Ricardo, picked me up and I told him what I needed to do, after telling him the whole incredible saga thus far. About halfway between San Blas and Panama City, there’s a small town called Margarita. There were a couple of chino (chinese-owned) hardware stores that were sure to have the connector pieces we needed. Sure enough, the second store we hit had them. They ended up costing about two bucks each (they could have done this DAYS ago and had the pipe fixed for about eight bucks). I bought them, and Ricardo told me to leave them at the store. He would make sure another driver on his way to San Blas would pick them up and deliver them to Dino.
After buying the parts, I continued on to the city. And hopefully to see a doctor that afternoon, which could be tough because it was a saturday. I’d been having a lot of trouble with my left ear for weeks now, and I thought it was full of fluid. I was having trouble hearing from it, and my ear just felt “full” all the time. Not only that. The past several days, I’d been getting a lot of “ringing” in the same ear, and that was starting to drive me a little nuts. When I got to my hotel in PC, I jumped online and caught Ceci, a local friend of mine, live on Facebook. I hurriedly asked her if she can point me to a doctor who can see me even though it was a Saturday, and if not, Monday. She told me to call a doctor friend of hers who she knows works half a day on Saturdays. I got lucky, and caught him just in time. He checked me out and said I have a classic case of Tinnitus. Which I suspected, but wasn’t happy to hear. He gave me a couple of prescriptions that he thought would help reduce or eliminate it. I certainly hope they work.
I called Dino later that afternoon, to make sure he got the pipe parts. He did, and I was relieved that all the effort wasn’t wasted. He said they would get on it the next day, and be done with the repair that same morning. Knowing what they needed to do, I saw no reason to doubt this.
Yet again… it was not to be. The story continues.